"I need to say this. You just need to hear it once. I love you, Elena. & it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. & why you can't know this? Because I don't deserve you, my brother does" -vampire diaries. Hello cold world. 4 days of school is driving the insane side of me out so fucking soon. I hate my school, I hate everything that's inside or whatever it contains including cca. I feel like i can cry anytime in class, that's how bad it really feels. Some enjoys it, idk what fuck they do in school? Ironically my resolution of 2012 is to try to like school, to start with, it's entirely impossible, unrealistic. Everyday's filled with mundane & mixed feelings. Talking to sarah made me realized how much i actually miss my old class. No.2 resolution of 2012 Chloe, is to start to treasure things before their gone & then start giving more fucks about it than you ever did. I'm not perfect but I'm working on it. I'm not sad anymore, I've been struggling to get out of it. I'm sick & tired of running full speed ahead from my mistakes which I can't open my eyes to see the end of it. My mouth has run dry from words i can't verbalize. I've seen worlds i don't belong. I've learn to love the pain cause that's the only way that i know how to feel. Life's too much of being emotionally drained. Life's too much of faking smiles you can barely give another one out. Life's too much of being judged for being who you are yet when you are who you are, people will always have a long speech to make about you. Maybe I'll break out of all this someday & maybe, just maybe it's just my twisted fate. have a great weekend. X
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