Never ever take someone's feelings as a joke. You never know how much it fucking hurts. Never ever ignore someone's feelings cause one day when you need them, you'll never find the old them anymore.
Greatgramp's birthday tomorrow. One of the "events" in my life i kind of treasure most. I mean like not everybody's great grandmother is still alive right? moreover, i don't know what tomorrow will bring. I just hope my great grandmother, grandmothers, grandfathers my mum my dad will live till a ripe old age. I hate people leaving, the pain's so excruciating, it's so sad that people will die one day. So today was the last day of school & it concludes my term one results. It was so badly done & i regret so much giving in to temptations & distractions.
English: 27/40
Chinese: 27/40
Emath: 25/40
Amath: 11/40
Physics: 24/50
Chemistry: 36/50
History (SBQ+TOV): 42/49
Social studies: 17/20
Sec2 & sec3's just so much different. I used to be able to go into the examination hall studying only 1/2 & As seems to fly to me I've never ever failed the baddest grade was only B4. no Cs Ds & Fs. & then this year Ds & Fs have been appearing almost on all my papers i got back incld class tests. I promised myself I will not slack anymore, I will pay attention, I will study harder, hope i do so la?
I absolutely hate going to school feeling fuckedup & ignoring everyone else yet sometimes out of feeling bad, i give in & talk to them but it never ever made me felt any better. I can't go on like that, I'm being more unlike me & i don't like it at fucking all. I don't like compelling this conflicting feelings all the time in class, sometimes i wanna give up it's hard trying to fight it. The more i cringe the words i wanna say, the more i feel nobody's listening. Most of the time when i talk to someone there's two conversations really going on. one replying to them & another replying to them in my head. & it's so tiring to do so.
xx
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